Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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