Porn is love you can see.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
