I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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