what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
