This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
