I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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