somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
