i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
