yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
