Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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