He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
