It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
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What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
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I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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