You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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