I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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