I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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