i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
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