fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
