So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I am midnight drunk by noon
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
