I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
a search helicopter?!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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