Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The uberlube is also flammable
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
