you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How external is "for external use only"?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
