You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
