Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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