How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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