If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
