Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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