You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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