Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
