I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
