they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
