I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
