No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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