That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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