My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
