someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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