My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
