she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
