Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
