So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize