Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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