I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
