Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
