and next time when you feel me up, do it right
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
