You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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