dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
