i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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