I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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