Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
