I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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