its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
