I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
