Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize