You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
