my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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