no, he came in my armpit
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
