i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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