watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
