At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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