like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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