Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't deserve a penis
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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