Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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